Start Here: When Dementia Behaviors Feel Confusing or Overwhelming
If you’re feeling unsure, exhausted, or worried about behaviors you don’t understand, you’re not alone — and you don’t need to have this all figured out before getting support.
This page is here to help you slow things down, make sense of what may be happening, and choose a next step that fits where you are right now.
You’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong.
First, A Reassurance
Many care partners are told what dementia is, but not how to understand sudden changes in behavior — especially when those changes feel personal, frightening, or out of character.
It’s common to wonder:
- Am I doing something wrong?
- Why is this happening now?
- How do I respond without making things worse?
Those questions don’t mean you’re failing.
They mean you’re paying attention.
A Different Way to Look at Dementia Behaviors
Dementia behaviors are often misunderstood as intentional, stubborn, or “just part of the disease.” But most behaviors are not random, and they’re not deliberate.
They are often signals of stress, confusion, discomfort, fear, or a shrinking ability to cope with what’s happening around the person.
When we learn to notice and respond to these signals earlier, behaviors are less likely to escalate, and care feels calmer and more manageable.
I help people understand what the person living with dementia is expressing — before distress becomes a crisis.
Why Engagement Can Be Difficult
Many “activities” stop working because they require memory, steps, and performance.
My approach is dignity-first and role-centered: it relies on preserved abilities like judgment and preference, and it reduces pressure for both people.
Because of this, I’m developing tools and perspectives that support families and professionals in becoming more dementia-ready — focusing on identity, interpretation, and dignity rather than tasks alone.
The goal isn’t keeping someone busy—it’s helping them feel respected, involved, and safe.
How This Site Can Help
You don’t need to read everything or start at the “beginning.” Dementia care is not linear — and neither is learning how to respond to it.
Here you’ll find:
- Clear explanations without jargon
- Practical guidance for real moments
- Resources you can use right away or return to later
You’re welcome to take what helps and leave the rest.
Choose What Fits You Best Right Now
I’m supporting a loved one
If you’re caring for a parent, spouse, or family member and want help understanding behaviors and responding with more confidence day to day, this is a good place to begin.
I support people with dementia professionally
If you work in healthcare, aging services, or long-term care and want education or consulting focused on understanding behaviors early and reducing distress and risk, start here.
You don’t need to wait for things to get worse to seek understanding or support. Making sense of what’s happening — even a little at a time — can change how care feels for everyone involved.
Take your time. Start where you are.
Quick Guides for Common Dementia Challenges
These short, printable guides explain why certain dementia-related challenges happen — and why familiar responses often increase distress instead of reducing it.
They’re designed to be:
- Read in a few minutes
- Easy to share with family or professionals
- Grounded in how dementia affects the brain, not in “tips” or blame
Why Reassurance Stops Working in Dementia
Understanding why “you’re safe” and “it’s okay” no longer calm distress — and what helps instead.
Why Pain Is Often Missed in Dementia
Why pain doesn’t show up the way we expect, and how distress can be misinterpreted as behavior.
Why Waiting and “Getting Ready” Are So Hard in Dementia
This guide explains why waiting, getting dressed and preparing to leave the house suddenly become difficult.