If you’re caring for someone living with dementia and behaviors have started to change, it can feel unsettling—sometimes even alarming.
You may be wondering:
- Why is this happening now?
- Am I missing something?
- Am I responding the right way?
These questions are incredibly common. They are also a sign that you are paying attention and trying to understand what the person you care about is experiencing.
This is a good place to start.
Behaviors Are Often Communication
When dementia affects the brain, it also affects how someone processes information, tolerates stress, and expresses needs. As words become harder to access, behavior often becomes the language.
That doesn’t mean the person is being difficult, manipulative, or intentionally challenging. More often, it means:
- something feels confusing,
- overwhelming,
- uncomfortable,
- or unsafe.
Understanding behaviors as communication allows us to shift from reacting to responding.
Why Things That Used to Work May Not Anymore
Many care partners notice that strategies that once helped—reasoning, reminders, reassurance—stop working as well. This can be frustrating and even heartbreaking.
Dementia is not static. As the brain changes, the person’s ability to:
- filter noise,
- tolerate busy environments,
- adapt to change,
- or recover from stress
may narrow over time.
When that happens, behaviors often increase—not because care partners are doing something wrong, but because the demands of the moment exceed what the person can manage.
You Don’t Need to Fix Everything
One of the most important things to know early on is this:
You do not need to solve every behavior or get it right every time.
Small shifts in understanding can:
- reduce distress,
- prevent escalation,
- and help both of you feel steadier.
Often, doing less—slowing down, simplifying, pausing—can be more supportive than doing more.
Where Understanding Fits In
Many families are given advice about what to do without help understanding why behaviors are happening in the first place. Without that context, strategies can feel random or ineffective.
My work focuses on helping care partners:
- make sense of what they’re seeing,
- recognize patterns over time,
- and respond with greater confidence and less stress.
You don’t need to read everything or learn everything at once. Understanding builds gradually.
If You’d Like to Go a Little Deeper
If behaviors are becoming confusing or stressful, you may find it helpful to explore resources designed to explain what behaviors may be communicating and how to respond in ways that reduce distress.
You can start wherever feels most manageable:
- reading a short section,
- using one simple worksheet,
- or just sitting with the idea that behaviors are meaningful.
If this perspective feels helpful, you may want to explore Understanding Dementia-Related Behaviors, which expands on these ideas in a practical, family-centered way.
You’re allowed to move slowly.
You’re allowed to start where you are.